Lost a relative to cancer.. No it was a murder

Cancer the most scaring and debilitating form of sickness.. Just the thought of someone in the family having it makes one's soul shrink.. 

I lost my mother's second cousin 2 days back to the same disease. 

Maybe I would be biased when I write something about this.. 

But this is for every parent out there.. And for every individual who reads this! 

Over a period of years I did overhear my mother and her cousins discuss about that lady.. And these were the reasons.. 

1) An abusive relationship with her husband

2) A bad marriage

3) Societal pressure to sustain and keep working on your marriage 

4) Torturous in-laws

5) Being the sole bread winner in the family

6) Having a son and not being able to move out of the marriage because of him

Or 

7) Parents and siblings trying to assure the girl to be patient,  keep her cool and try to adjust as in the near future something good will surely happen! Maybe something miraculous...!! 

People please understand every relationshop has certain basic requirements.

And this should first be understood by the parents of both bride and the groom. It's not about venting your anger and frustration on the daughter-in-law alone.. It's about trying to understand that the dynamics of relationships and marriage have changed as compared to what it was when you as parents did....... to what it is now! 

It's not about always the girl's family trying to assure the lady to be a little more receptive a little more adjusting.. But it is about making your daughter strong! 

Every negative thing has a bad repercussion especially when we relate mental health to physical health.

Everytime something bad happens it leaves a bad scar on both your mind and the body. 

An abusive relationship is just that scar... And when there are many such scars.. The body unknowingly becomes a storehouse of lack of immunity and hence deficiencies and diseases.. 

The most unworthy advice that parents or in-laws could give to their children is to have a child and everything would be fine!!  Trust me it is not. A child who comes to this world.. Doesn't come to carry the baggage of your bad life! If you already are in a bad relationship never ever think of having a child.. because then as per the Indian society ..females have to keep mum.. Just for the sake of the Child ! Why bring the child to this world in the first place.. Why not just leave out the option of progeny propagation to the happy ones, so that children who come to the world are happier! 

This lady got married, the husband after some time left his job, the task of financial constraints and the onus of bearing them came on her.. She kept doing it with utmost sincerity.. Then she had a child, a beautiful little baby boy. But this was just the start of problems.. Then the relationship with her husband turned torturous for her.. With domestic violence taking a toll on her health.

 (Just think about all those children who have seen their mother getting hit by their father.. These children not only loose their own innocent self at a very tender age... But also develop a lack of faith in relationships) 

In-laws were pretty supportive for their son saying he is facing a state of Stress and Depression and would be fine in sometime... And till then kept themselves absolved of almost all the support that they could render to the lady since she had given them their 'WARIS' (a baby boy...girls in our society are made to believe that once you have a child.. All will be well.. And if it's a male child.. You might be crowned the next Queen perhaps!) 

Obviously the lady's family is a very respectable family and thinks that it's a lady's quality to keep putting all her energy into the holy institution called marriage! Hence she keeps getting a lot of gyaan on how to keep making even more efforts.. And she does keep trying her bit ..and now the son is almost in his 10th boards. 

This lady keeps falling ill pretty frequently but obviously because she has to manage both the house (I would refrain from referring such a household to Home and hence House is Just Apt)  and the work place .. And of course the son and his studies.. That she kept her health issues on the back burner.. 

Just before 6 months we were informed that she was diagnosed with breast cancer 3rd stage.. And within 6 months, despite of chemo and radiations she lost her life. 

She did not loose her life because it was cancer, she lost it because NOONE ACTUALLY CARED! 

People don't care for the godamn society.. 

Think about your children,  Instill positivity in them but don't overdo it.. Tell them to be optimistic but also tell them that it's Being Realistic that usually helps! 

And for heaven's sake don't start thinking of these people as failures

1) Who are not married.

2) Who don't have children. 

3) Who stay single even after being married! 

4) Who walk out of their relationship... 

Nothing hurts or harms more than a bad relationship.. If at all there are some issues.. Resolve them.. Let your children walk out of relationships.. Embrace them, because death of your children would break your mental balance and scar your soul for lifetime.. 

Resolve all the prevailing negativity before some other lady falls prey to the societal norms.. 

Did she die of cancer... NO THE SOCIETY AND INDIFFERENCE OF HER HUSBAND KILLED HER! yes it was a cold blooded.. strategic planned murder...