The news! - part 1

She was a 24 year old female.. just out of the college

doing things the right way.. doing good things... doing good to people and every second moving towards improving oneself was her philosophy.

She had a good job in the Human Resources department of a big company. She was always appreciated for her crisp talk and superb performance and slowly everyone had started feeling that she would be a superb asset to the company.

Her boss who was already married and had 4 children.. started to act creepy.. she was ready to work no matter how hard it was but working with someone who was constantly on the prowl to molest her or take advantage of her in some way.. was something she did not wish to stand.. 

and she left her job. 

She preferred to keep things to herself and thought she should do so because she was woman of strong character! After sometime she got married.. it was a proper arranged marriage.

10 years after marriage, staying with in-laws having 2 beautiful daughters...changed her life entirely...

she was now a homemaker..

Taking care of her daughters, her bed-ridden mother-in-law and husband and father-in-law into the family business barely gave her any time for herself.

She observed that off late her husband had started going on out-station trips a little more than usual and they lasted for 4-5 days instead of the usual 1-2 day trips.

She always wanted to join the business and do good value addition on her part but the conservative mindset did not allow her to do anything apart from being a care-taker.

One day after dropping her daughters to their Karate class..

she was waiting in the car reading her magazine.. her husband called her up.

(she usually kept a few magazines piled up in her car, so that she could read something good while waiting)

By the time she reached out to answer the call.. it got disconnected...It happened twice.. she got worried..

When she tried calling back ..the call got disconnected.

She kept thinking what might have happened.. because it was very unusual of her husband to call her up in the middle of the day ... and then not talk!

After winding up her day's work when her daughters slept.... .. she tried calling up her husband...

He said he was in town and was sending a vehicle across to pick her up..

A thousand bright lamps lit in her mind..

She started talking to herself..

"Oh my God... Look how foolish was I to keep thinking bad about my husband.. poor thing.. he has a lot of work to do.. lot many responsibilities.. how would he get the time to be like a romantic bollywood movie hero..?! Stupid me.."

She put on her best saree... 

In her super hectic routine.. she had almost forgot to dress up very well.. like she used to do when she was a newly married bride.. she couldn't stop smiling..

she noticed a few wrinkles and a few freckles on her face.. and smiled and said to herself 
"This is my work experience and I look beautiful with this" 

[ The news! - part 2 ]

The bus journey - 4

[ The bus journey - 1]
[ The bus journey - 2]
[ The bus journey - 3]

The next day while going for work
she had decided.. today she would give it back to him

While winding her work she was mentally prepared 
When she reached the stop she found the young chap standing in the queue..
They exchanged a few expressions..

When they boarded the bus Mr.Creep was on his way to molest her when she lifted her right leg and put her wedge heels on his shoe..and stamped it with all her might... till

Mr.Creep raised a voice - Mam your sandal is hurting me ...

And then she responded with a victorious smile -
Oh Is it! Then why don't you take a step back..

Her response made a few faces turn back and look at Mr.Creep and it did not take much time for them to understand what must have been wrong... they gave a disgusting look to him..He gave an embarrassed look..

Today she was feeling much lighter and much happier!

She and the young chap got down at the same stop today.
He smiled and said - Well done Mam.. Goodbye.

They never met again...
it wasn't needed!
She had learnt to respect Herself!

But are all females doing this.. or are able to do this?

And what about the Males who do this?

The bus journey - 3

[The bus journey - 1 ]

[The bus journey - 2 ]

This groping had become a daily affair for the next 3 days..
She started getting uncomfortable and started winding her work early..

But to her surprise the Creep was already there..
Perhaps waiting for Her to come and get his rush of Adrenaline and having the sadistic pleasure of groping a female..who couldn't react!

The 4th day 
When she started winding up her work the next day .. she got this awkward feeling....
what if I face him today also..
Why is he doing it..

With all sorts of thoughts in her mind she left for her stop.. 
when she boarded the auto-rickshaw she kept looking around if the creep was somewhere ..
when she reached her bus stop ..she caught a glimpse of him standing there on the bus-stop .. he looked uber cool.. totally unaffected ..

When the bus came, she got into the queue and to her surprise there was another guy who came just behind her in the queue ..
he unknowingly acted as a blockage between her and Mr. Creep
When they got into the bus.. thankfully it was not very crowded.
She noticed this young boy ..he must be a few years younger to me (she thought)
While Mr. Creep tried to come near her, 
this young boy was busy on his earphones..

When he saw Her getting uncomfortable, he tried to nudge the space between the Creep and her and stood in between.

She was so relieved!
She couldn't imagine someone younger to her could acknowledge her issue and also take a step to help her.
The creep got down without getting his work done today..

She and the young chap got down at the same stop..
But what the young chap told her .. 
stunned her 
" Mam, why didn't you react! Don't you respect yourself?
I totally get what he was trying to do, but I did not get why you kept quiet...
I don't travel by this bus daily.. but You do. 
Ensure your safety yourself"

The last line of what he said kept ringing in her mind....
and then she slept.

[The bus journey - 4]

The bus journey - 2

[ The bus journey - 1]

When she got down at her stop, which came 2 stops later, she realised that her legs behaved like some sort of a jelly.. she took few sips of water, standing at the stop.. and then slowly started moving towards the hostel.
On reaching the hostel.. she washed her face multiple times.. as if something dirty had stuck to her body..
After her bath, instead of having her dinner, she lied down and kept thinking.. what made that person do so...
why is she feeling bad about it..
was she wrong in some way.. 
did she give some sort of an indication that she was wanting it?
what if he comes in the same bus tomorrow ..and tries to do the same thing..
should she have shouted at him..because her parents had taught her don't keep mum.. raise a voice..why didn't she do it?
numerous questions filled her mind..

She got up and to stop the trail of thoughts that was going on in her mind... drank almost half a litre of water and then switched on her radio.. 
In those days pocket radio was very much in trend..the music of -'Kajrare' made her feel a little lighter..she moved on to the dining table to have her dinner.

After dinner, she discussed this with one of her room mates and she told her - You should have shouted at him..
This filled her with some sort of courage from within.. and she told herself...
If I meet that creep tomorrow.. I'll slap him or at-least shout at him!
But what if he shouts back or argues or worse.. tries to hit back! Because he who doesn't have even the slightest respect for a female approximately 20 years younger to him.. would not hesitate to do something cheap again..

[The bus journey - 3]
[The bus journey - 4]

The bus journey - 1

With the sexual exploitation and harrassment hogging limelight in almost all forms of media I thought this story needs to be published !

The story dates back to 2005

She was new in the City of dreams.
She was a 21 year old girl. 
It was her dream to work in Mumbai and by her luck and her efforts..she got a job just after finishing her post graduation! How happy she was!
The 10-12 hours of work did not tire her at all. The office provided  healthy and wholesome meals.. which was all the more good. The hostel was good, the hostel mates were good.

She never bothered with the hard work that she had to do, instead found out new ways and means to find something new to do and to understand something even better.. 
She was tired of the constant nagging and criticism by her seniors at the workplace but her mother insisted.. This is how you learn, take every criticism as an opportunity to correct yourself and she tried to implement it..daily... but sometimes she was happy and sometimes she was unhappy and kept thinking.. Oh God I should not have taken this job.. its too tough..

She commuted daily by the bus. 

She was very well aware that if you travel in a public transport things like - groping pinching etc might happen.. 
(Sad but true, our daughters should know that this is something very rare and people who do this should be publicly condemned for their act.. but does this happen? NO)

One day when she boarded the bus, as usual it was super crowded and there was barely a space to breathe - she felt someone was trying to grope her very badly....
But when she turned to look at him, the person acted as if nothing had happened..he must be in his forties..
she somehow managed to move forward to go away from that Creep, but he moved with her and groped her again... It was around 7:30 pm and she couldn't see his face clearly.. but she could for sure smell and sense his dirty and stinky mind!

This was happening for the first time with her in Mumbai. The city which was known for its people spirit.. the city which was known for the discipline that its people practiced...
She started perspiring.. became breathless and looked around to see if there was someone who could help her. everyone was busy.. either in the newspaper or listening to radio on their phones or looking out of the window...
thankfully she got a seat and the Creep couldn't get a place to come near her..because of some old uncle who had a frown on his face and ...who refused to move even a millimeter from where he was standing.
In her heart she thanked the old uncle a million times..

She caught up her breath and kept quiet..and was heavily relieved when she saw the creep getting down at the next stop.

[ The bus journey - 2]
[ The bus journey - 3]
[The bus journey - 4]

The chashma - Part 1

Everyone in the class made fun of her spectacles...3 decades back having spectacles at the age of 6 wasn't normal!

She used to complain everyday on coming home, saying Mummy "I could not complete what teacher wrote on the blackboard, because I couldn't see it"
And the mother kept wondering what could be the probable reason? Mother even tried telling the class teacher that - Please make her sit on the front bench so that it becomes easier for her to note down things from the black board..but sadly even that didn't work!

Then she started complaining to her parents about a bad headache.
It suddenly occurred to her mother a visit to the doctor might help. A visit to the Opthalmologist confirmed the fact that their daughter was myopic. And not just that she had -2.5 number in the spectacles which were then until sometime back referred to as 'coke bottom glasses'.

And then the ordeal began.. there were only 3 children in the class who had spectacles.
She started feeling low in confidence which was badly aggravated by class children teasing her for having specs! She was good in her work had an excellent memory.. was good at public speaking.. but all her qualities started going in a shell that she had created for herself!!

She often used to wonder - Why do other children do so?
Are they not told by their parents to help and support other children?
Sadly 'bullying' was not a much known term back then. The children of the class who used to tease her never realised it and also her friends could never ever fathom what pain was she going through!

Her goal in life was to get rid of the spectacles ..any how any way..
but till then.. those spectacles took away her confidence for a considerable number of years.
Were her spectacles a measure of judging who she was and what were her capabilities?

[Read on in the next article...]

Motivation

She finished picking up clothes from the clothesline on the terrace and was climbing down the stairs when the phone rang.
She called out to her sons, to come out of the room and hand over her phone.

Out of the 2 naughty children the elder son came and gave her the phone.
It was her Mother. "Mamma you exactly know when shall I be free, tell me whats up which wedding are you people supposed to go to today?"
Mother : " Oh well, that's why I am your Mum! Today your father is not feeling well hence we will not go to any wedding. 
The doctor has advised him to go for a morning walk daily, but does he listen.??
By the way I called you up to remind you that you have also been advised by the doctor to start regular exercises and keep yourself fit, when was the last time you took out time from your schedule to workout for yourself?"
She : "Mamma you know I have been keeping crazily busy with the household chores,studies of these both and lot more.. but yes I'll start it today itself" and hung up the phone.
She kept thinking how will she take out time from her busy schedule, it had been 3 months since her friend and her family doctor had advised her to start an exercise regimen.. How When ..Will it be convenient...and so on.

She was used to making fresh snacks for her children before they left to play. 
Today she checked in the refrigerator, luckily there was enough kheer to be served to both her sons.
When they announced that their daily work was complete and they wanted something nice to eat before leaving for their play, they saw  bowls of kheer kept on the dining table and saw their mother hurriedly trying to bolt the kitchen and the bedroom door.

Both of them exclaimed : "Kheer, but why... we had it yesterday, why not some new snack, something interesting like you do it everyday! And where are you going?"

She smiled and told them - Kheer is something which you both like right? Both her sons nodded in affirmation. You remember during our last visit to the doctor aunty she told Mummy to start exercising regularly to become more fit? Again both of them nodded in affirmation.

So from today when you both go to play, Mamma shall take 5 rounds of the park.
Both of them sounded excited!
"Oh great - From when will you start running with us and win the running competition held for the mothers at the school on Sports day?"

She - "Very soon, now finish your kheer fast, we should not get late right!"

All 3 of them had big smiles on their faces when they left their home.

See..Motivation can come from anywhere, it all depends on how you prioritize things!

A small gesture of courtesy

Courtesy is a word which automatically brings a faint smile on our faces, the moment we see someone passing on that gesture to us.
And since it has become a gesture very rare these days.... 
I couldn't help sharing a few lines about it.

I have recently started my channel on youtube "Mydietchart"
Today there was a meet of all Youtubers in Bhopal city at Motel Shiraz.
The meeting was fantastic.. quite a learning experience in itself and it was full of surprises as I did not know that people in Bhopal were also having more than 50,000 subscribers and near to 1 million page views!

I always become happy on seeing small acts of display of good manners or basic etiquettes.. and today there were 2 such incidents that caught my attention..

I was accompanied by my son to the meet.. which is almost always the case :) thanks to Bhopal city for being so accomodative about it!

First incidence 
For the initial 1 hour of the meet my son was conveniently sleeping in my lap. During this time the CEO of DB Digital Mr. Gyan Gupta was giving his inputs on a new Digital platform that they are going to develop.. In the meantime I was getting a little uncomfortable and was shifting from one position to the other to help my son sleep well and also so as to not let any part of my body go numb because of the confined posture and parallely lend an attentive ear to the important discussion going on.

The gentleman observed this, stopped in the middle of his talk, and asked his team "Madam ko ek aur chair lake de do" - the sentence though very small carried a huge weightage.. atleast for me! His team did it within a fraction of a second.
While you are engrossed in your speech about a new product that your company is going to launch.. and during all this if you are able to observe a female getting slightly uncomfortable in handling her child and give the requisite instructions.. its not an easy thing to do!
I was super impressed by this gesture, rather his entire upbringing.. these are the traits of a true gentleman! And of course the family would get the credit for that!

Second one happened when my son got up. Once awake he started to nag me to take him out of the room..firstly because he was hungry and secondly because he is not comfortable sitting at one place for a long time (a typical behaviour exhibited by a 7 year old). I tried to pacify him by telling him he would get some good snacks.. and just then the plates of snacks started making rounds in the hall. 
It was our hard luck that we were placed in such a way that none of the waiters had an easy access to our chair. And my son was getting impatient .. so much so that he actually started looking at all the waiters very anxiously.. (I was getting embarrased ) and just then a waiter who was in the next end of the line behind us.. saw my son and his anxious eyes.. which were almost screaming "Uncle yaha leke aa jaiye pehle please!"

The moment he saw my son he came with the tray to our table and asked my son to pick a plate .. and the look that he had on his face was thoroughly positive and full of happiness!
He must be in his early fifties .. and the happiness of being able to serve a child just when he wanted it.. was clearly evident on his face.. This is true hospitality.
Again a true trait of a gentleman and a good upbringing for sure! And who else but the family to get accolades for that.

Small small incidents in life teach us so much.. 

In rare cases I forget to do so..but today while taking out my vehicle from the parking lot of the venue, I made sure that I responded with a big smile and reciprocated the 'Thankyou' in a slightly better way than what the security guard said to me !

Finding good things is so easy but following them is tough indeed! But once you do it.. your heart swells up with joy!
So today was in total a good day :)

Hranite pozitivno! (Slovenian)
Keep Spreading Positivity

Fire Crackers versus Everyday Pollutants!

You know why does a person start her/his own blog.. so that they can speak out what they feel on a systematic platform.

With reference to the recent ban on crackers in Delhi.. I have my bit to say - 
I have never been a fan of crackers and I am the only one in my entire maternal and paternal family and in my in-laws place who is so less fond of crackers. I usually bring a packet of Phuljhadi, Anar, Rocket and Chakri.. and I am done.
And I started this less love for crackers when we were once told in our school, about the child labourers being employed in Sivakasi - the heartland of cracker manufacturing - FOR MAKING THOSE CRACKERS! The small feeling of compassion creeped in and is there till date. But since shagun is to be done.. I do it with bare minimum crackers.

Pollution is something we need to be always concerned about 
1) Use of AC at home, schools, office buildings especially by blocking the flow of fresh air and sunlight!
2) Use of vehicles for places where you could walk down.
3) Not turning off the car engine, when the traffic signal has more than 1 minute of wait time.
4) Carefree and reckless use of disposable items (bottled water, pouch of water, aerated rink bottles, tetra packs, plastic cutlery at home and in parties) and never wondering about its proper disposal method.
5) Extensive use of plastic in our day to day lives. E.g.: Melamine, plastic containers to store food and water and cooked food.
6) Not caring about segregation of solid and liquid waste and also other different types of waste products.
7) Cigarette and pollution resulting due to it. 


Did you know 
1) Turning off the AC can help you stay away from vitamin and mineral deficiencies and also get rid off respiratory tract disorders or issues.
2) Walking to nearby places makes you more fit and saves the costly renewable source of energy as well.
3) Turning off the car engine at the traffic signal- helps in reducing the CO2 and other harmful gaseous emission from your vehicle and also save petrol/diesel.
4) The use of plastic is not fit for a healthy life whether it happes in the form of disposable items or in the form of food grade containers or melamine cutlery. It leads to various digestive tract disorders and is also a proven carcinogenic agent!
Moreover its thoughtless disposal leads to polluting of our otherwise super clean water sources (Oh that was pure sarcasm!) and is dangerous to the life of birds and animals!
5) If we talk about segragating wastes this is one thing that needs to be focussed on a lot to reduce the waste dumpyards created in every metro. We need to learn this from Germany  and Sweden. Oh but we so love the polythene that comes with our sabzi or grocery items whether we get it for free or pay for it that we rarely bother about how do we dispose it!
6) Being a diet and nutrition consultant , health is a topic which I can go on and on about... How many of us are aware of the term "passive smoking" So first we need to get rid off "Open Smoking Areas!" and give closed chambers to the portable chimneys moving around! (Sarcasm oh a big big YES!!)

If at all you have studied environment during your school days my thoughts will make sense for you, if they don't, think about it for yourself.. that - Why is the life of every living species not important for you and why is just ranting about any political party is important!!
Please start caring for your environment everyday!

YES if you feel banning crackers during one time or one day could help you......
May God bless you with - so called common sense!

And yes for those who give a damn - KARMA has its own way of paying you back ..who knows the different types of illnesses prevailing in your family or in your own body - is nature's own way of hitting back at you !

Cuídate

The relationship

She kept her phone aside.. thinking its so good I have someone like this to talk to.. And He thought its so good I don't need to give any explanation or reasoning to her.. It was soothing for both!

She met him during her school-days. He was quite elder to her, she knew he was good and maybe she liked him.. but being from a conservative family thinking about someone and dreaming of a having an affair was out of question. She thought being friends was the safest option.. He also liked her, but also knew that a female who is very average on looks and low on ambition can only be a good acquaintance..

He completed his post-graduation, got a job and shifted to some different city. She completed her studies and started working in the same city. She got married within a year of starting her job. They met once in a few years.. at a gathering of common friends.. 2 decades back.. being married and having a family and then getting the time to meet friends happened once in 2-3 years only.. unlike now when reunions have become an almost compulsory affair. Whenever they met it was good.. He thought "Its so nice to talk to her" and she thought "Sometimes its so simple to communicate with some people!"

After 3 bad miscarriages the doctor declared that she was not in a position to conceive and should not even try, because it would prove fatal for her. The family agreed, which also was a rarity because in middle class families, such things amount to either separation or divorce or any thing under the sun that you could imagine! But slowly things became very quiet in the otherwise cheerful household.. 

He knew all this, but never questioned her about it. He even thought of comforting her by calling her up.. but since she had maintained a distance, he thought its better not to bridge the gap and trespass in someone's personal space. Next time when they interacted after a few months it was as before, very general.

He shifted to a Metro and underwent a divorce. "Perhaps life in metro cities teaches you more about being ambitious and less about being emotional".. She thought to herself when a common friend exchanged this information. But neither did he discuss this ever with her, nor did she prefer to question him.

They kept talking to each other. One phone call a fortnight or even a month or no phone call for a long time..everything was okay. They were never judgemental about anything that the other person discussed, but yes they only talked about every other topic under the sun..except for themselves or what they were going through.. and that's what made them very comfortable.. 

At times discussing random things with random people or doing absolutely random discussions, is what makes you feel good, relaxed and yes also 'Not Guilty'

All situations are still the same.. at both ends.. or maybe changed.. but this was never ever discussed. This is what is perhaps a platonic relationship..
which in my words means No Strings Attached. Emotions neither have an age..nor a definition.. they are just emotions..Never be judgemental about them!

Maryadapurushottam ya kuch Aur

Copied from my whatsapp.. Was sent by a friend.. Could not help sharing. Would try to find out who actually wrote this.. If you come across it first,  do let me know.
This is a poem written by Shri Rajeshwar Vashishtha Ji - http://kavitakosh.org/kk/%E0%A4%9C%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%80_%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%87_%E0%A4%B2%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%8F_/_%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%9C%E0%A5%87%E0%A4%B6%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B5%E0%A4%B0_%E0%A4%B5%E0%A4%B6%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%B7%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%A0

मर चुका है रावण का शरीर

स्तब्ध है सारी लंका

सुनसान है किले का परकोटा

कहीं कोई उत्साह नहीं

किसी घर में नहीं जल रहा है दिया

विभीषण के घर को छोड़ कर ।

सागर के किनारे बैठे हैं विजयी राम

विभीषण को लंका का राज्य सौंपते हुए

ताकि सुबह हो सके उनका राज्याभिषेक

बार-बार लक्ष्मण से पूछते हैं

अपने सहयोगियों की कुशल-क्षेम

चरणों के निकट बैठे हैं हनुमान !

मन में क्षुब्ध हैं लक्ष्मण

कि राम क्यों नहीं लेने जाते हैं सीता को

अशोक वाटिका से

पर कुछ कह नहीं पाते हैं ।

धीरे-धीरे सिमट जाते हैं सभी काम

हो जाता है विभीषण का राज्याभिषेक

और राम प्रवेश करते हैं लंका में

ठहरते हैं एक उच्च भवन में ।

भेजते हैं हनुमान को अशोक-वाटिका

यह समाचार देने के लिए

कि मारा गया है रावण

और अब लंकाधिपति हैं विभीषण ।

सीता सुनती हैं इस समाचार को

और रहती हैं ख़ामोश

कुछ नहीं कहती

बस निहारती है रास्ता

रावण का वध करते ही

वनवासी राम बन गए हैं सम्राट ?

लंका पहुँच कर भी भेजते हैं अपना दूत

नहीं जानना चाहते एक वर्ष कहाँ रही सीता

कैसे रही सीता ?

नयनों से बहती है अश्रुधार

जिसे समझ नहीं पाते हनुमान

कह नहीं पाते वाल्मीकि ।

राम अगर आते तो मैं उन्हें मिलवाती

इन परिचारिकाओं से

जिन्होंने मुझे भयभीत करते हुए भी

स्त्री की पूर्ण गरिमा प्रदान की

वे रावण की अनुचरी तो थीं

पर मेरे लिए माताओं के समान थीं ।

राम अगर आते तो मैं उन्हें मिलवाती

इन अशोक वृक्षों से

इन माधवी लताओं से

जिन्होंने मेरे आँसुओं को

ओस के कणों की तरह सहेजा अपने शरीर पर

पर राम तो अब राजा हैं

वह कैसे आते सीता को लेने ?

विभीषण करवाते हैं सीता का शृंगार

और पालकी में बिठा कर पहुँचाते है राम के भवन पर

पालकी में बैठे हुए सीता सोचती है

जनक ने भी तो उसे विदा किया था इसी तरह !

वहीं रोक दो पालकी,

गूँजता है राम का स्वर

सीता को पैदल चल कर आने दो मेरे समीप !

ज़मीन पर चलते हुए काँपती है भूमिसुता

क्या देखना चाहते हैं

मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम, कारावास में रह कर

चलना भी भूल जाती हैं स्त्रियाँ ?

अपमान और उपेक्षा के बोझ से दबी सीता

भूल जाती है पति-मिलन का उत्साह

खड़ी हो जाती है किसी युद्ध-बन्दिनी की तरह !

कुठाराघात करते हैं राम ---- सीते, कौन होगा वह पुरुष

जो वर्ष भर पर-पुरुष के घर में रही स्त्री को

करेगा स्वीकार ?

मैं तुम्हें मुक्त करता हूँ, तुम चाहे जहाँ जा सकती हो ।

उसने तुम्हें अंक में भर कर उठाया

और मृत्युपर्यंत तुम्हें देख कर जीता रहा

मेरा दायित्व था तुम्हें मुक्त कराना

पर अब नहीं स्वीकार कर सकता तुम्हें पत्नी की तरह !

वाल्मीकि के नायक तो राम थे

वे क्यों लिखते सीता का रुदन

और उसकी मनोदशा ?

उन क्षणों में क्या नहीं सोचा होगा सीता ने

कि क्या यह वही पुरुष है

जिसका किया था मैंने स्वयंवर में वरण

क्या यह वही पुरुष है जिसके प्रेम में

मैं छोड़ आई थी अयोध्या का महल

और भटकी थी वन-वन !

हाँ, रावण ने उठाया था मुझे गोद में

हाँ, रावण ने किया था मुझसे प्रणय निवेदन

वह राजा था चाहता तो बलात ले जाता अपने रनिवास में

पर रावण पुरुष था,

उसने मेरे स्त्रीत्व का अपमान कभी नहीं किया

भले ही वह मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम न कहलाए इतिहास में !

यह सब कहला नहीं सकते थे वाल्मीकि

क्योंकि उन्हें तो रामकथा ही कहनी थी !

आगे की कथा आप जानते हैं

सीता ने अग्नि-परीक्षा दी

कवि को कथा समेटने की जल्दी थी

राम, सीता और लक्ष्मण अयोध्या लौट आए

नगरवासियों ने दीपावली मनाई

जिसमें शहर के धोबी शामिल नहीं हुए ।

आज इस दशहरे की रात

मैं उदास हूँ उस रावण के लिए

जिसकी मर्यादा

किसी मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम से कम नहीं थी ।

मैं उदास हूँ कवि वाल्मीकि के लिए

जो राम के समक्ष सीता के भाव लिख न सके ।

आज इस दशहरे की रात

मैं उदास हूँ स्त्री अस्मिता के लिए

उसकी शाश्वत प्रतीक जानकी के लिए !

मैंने हर वर्ष, महसूस किया है,

उस जलते हुए रावण का दुःख,

जो सामने खड़ी भीड़ से,

नतमस्तक होकर,

बार -बार पूछ रहा था,

"तुम में से कोई राम है क्या?"

The borrowed money

"Wow, I am finally here" were her words , when her father dropped her to the hostel with her necessary belongings and she turned back to go to her room. It was a mixed feeling .. happiness because she was in the city of her dreams . Mumbai.. sadness because now Papa Mamma would not be there..

But she was willing to take up the challenge.. the challenge of staying in a hostel and managing in a new city, all on her own. 

"What fun is life, if there are no challenges!" She asked to herself.

It was her first job. She used to leave the hostel by 5:30 am, board the bus, get down at her stop, take a rickshaw and reach the hospital. The bus conductor and the rickshaw driver had become pretty common faces and were the same everyday.

She met new faces everyday at the bus-stop. Gradually they started exchanging smiles, she really liked a lady with a pleasant face, because her smile was very energetic! Since they stayed in the same locality, they met at the vegetable & fruit market also. 

This story dates back to 2005.. when cards were not very frequently used. One night, she counted the money left with her and kept the wallet in the cupboard. Next morning she left in a hurry to catch the bus.

She and the Lady boarded the bus together. The moment she exchanged a smile with her, she muttered to herself in sheer disappointment "Oh my God, I forgot the wallet in the cupboard and now I don't have any cash with me, what will I do now..?"

She, in a very embarrassing tone informed this to the lady who rplied promptly "Main deti na ticket ke paise {5 Rs}, kal tum de dena.. koi baat nahi"

She said to herself "Thankgod! but how could I be so stupid"

She got down at her stop, and the rickshaw-wala who used to take her daily to the hospital started his rickshaw. She slowly went towards the rickshaw and in a very low volume told him "Bhaiya, aaj mere paas paise nahi hai, main purse laana bhul gai"

In Mumbai people normally don't look at you and talk, they keep doing their work and talk to you. He said "Arrey madam, koi baat nahi, roz toh aate ko, kal de dena, 10Rs hi toh hai!"

This gave her a big sigh of relief! "Papa mamma were right.. there are good people and God sends them to you when you need them the most!" She got down from the rickshaw and before she could thank him, the rickshaw-wala was gone.

She reached the hospital, started the work, when her friends came, she also borrowed money from them for the day and told her how she reached the hospital. 

Something strange happened that day, she had applied since many days, to get her shifted to the other hospital of the same hospitality company. She got a letter to join the other hospital which was just in the opposite direction than the current one - the very next day. She thought .."How would I return their money" 

But there was no option. Next morning she left for some other hospital from some other stop, at a different time, with duty hours being approximately 12 hours! Now her route was different.. but everyday when she gave the money to the bus-conductor, she did think about the Lady and the rickshaw-wala

"They must be thinking, I just vanished"

Then after 1 month, due to some reasons, she shifted back to her hometown. But the 15 Rs borrowed that day are still a 'udhaar'  and she knows.. she will never be able to meet them or pay it back to them.

Its just 15 Rs, but the baggage of not returning the amount to the people who helped her at the time of need, is much more heavier than that!

The meeting

They met at a meeting, a professional one..in a complete professional setup.. 

There was something in him that she couldn't stop noticing..

She hurried back home because she had her 8 months old daughter waiting for her, but he thought she had an attitude!

She was often condemned in her office for this act of hers.- hurrying back home!

Few things that are typically said to females who work in professional setups are "If you have come to work, leave your reservations related to time, back home" "You can't complain everyday if you have some health issues, instead of wasting your and our time, why don't you resign?" And in case if she gets favored by a boss who is a little understanding... be it a male or a female.. the colleagues discuss "Oh, she must be having some personal terms with the boss, if not why would she be favored?"

She was used to this unadulterated sarcasm! 

Apart from this there was sarcasm on other fronts too! "You dont look good", "Gosh, you have put on so much of weight, why dont you go for some treatments" , "You know you should dress according to your size" and so on..

But she kept focussing on her work.. she was a columnist in a fortnightly magazine.

Social media has its benefits, she connected with him over the social media. After a few interactions, she found that she was addicted to talking to him... She then found out that it was not just she who noticed him, so much during that meeting.. even he noticed her and he admitted it!

But they didn't meet.. even if planned.. she cancelled the meeting due to just one fact.. She kept thinking "Texting and Meeting are different" "Why should I go and meet someone" But then she thought "But I am so comfortable talking to him!"

Time went on.. he moved to some other city.. they never met. She moved to a different city with her daughter. They kept interacting over messages, although the frequency of the messages kept decreasing.. one fine day.. both of them stopped messaging each other..

She started writing for a daily under a pen name. He shifted to her city. But they were not in contact.. so they never knew that they were in the same city.

Her parents also shifted to the city where she was, how could they leave their daughter alone, after all she needed a support-system to handle her daughter.

She was invited for a birthday celebration, she normally avoided going to parties..especially since her separation, but since it was a celebration at home and that too of a selected few, she decided to go. After a long time, she actually dressed herself up.. initially guilty..thinking whether she should get decked up or not..when she looked in the mirror closely she realised she had gained a better shape, all thanks to her regular exercise sessions! Leaving all reservations aside, she dressed in the most elegant way she could. When she stepped out of her room, her daughter exclaimed "Mamma ..aap kitni acchi lag rahi ho! Aap roz aise kyu nahi rehti?" She gave a quick peck on her cheeks and moved towards the door, leaving her with her parents.

She usually reached everywhere on time..and here too she was on time.. noone else had reached.. then the doorbell rang. Just to help her friend, she went and opened the door.. and guess who stood there.. It was Him!

She was at loss of words, just kept staring at him.. and talked to him in her mind "Why didn't you call or message? Its been so long"

He was indifferent.. neither did he say anything nor was he interested to talk to her.

And then the host exclaimed "Oh Wow look who's here!" The host introduced Him to Her as her distant cousin.. the party got over. It was very difficult for her, still she kept her calm. They interacted only what was accepted as a social norm. During discussions she came to know the fact that - He was supposed to leave abroad in the next few months.

With heavy steps she headed back home.. and while digging herself in the pillow, which had become wet because of her tears.. she kept thinking ... Should I tell him? What if its just a one sided affection?

The next day in some discussions the distant cousin came up, she so wanted to talk to the Host, about him, but she refrained. But then the Host herself told her.. you know my cousin is so talented, but he has become very quiet after his divorce and he's shifting abroad, forever!

She came home and decided, she wont ! There was no point...

Not all stories have an ending!

The extra-marital affair - Part 2

Click here to read Part - 1 of the story 

After meeting her family which had her husband and 2 sons, at some social gatherings she realised that there was some relationship issue between the lady and her husband, which was very much evident, despite of the fact that both of them were successful career wise!

And then the UN-expected happened, she found out after cross-checking a certain facts that her husband was in a relationship with that lady and it was not a recent one but a seasoned one by now. 
Now her children were in their high-school, she barely had  time or energy left, after the part-time work and the responsibilities at home to confront this issue with her husband. And she kept on thinking "Oh, He's so good to me, he's so good to his parents and there couldn't have been a loving father than him for my children" 

She was now meeting several people for work and found out that such affairs was not something out of the blue in offices. There were quite a few people on good designations in her husband's company, who started giving her compliments for her looks, her style of work, her dressing sense, her way of talking, her management skills.. almost everything..

Compliments.. oh how she missed them.. getting compliments from other people versus your soulmate is something different. and whatever may the world say.. a female does have Huge expectations from her life partner ..and compliments are one of them. Many a times she couldn't stop herself from observing that her set of compliments were going to someone else, right infront of her!

She started consulting a Psychologist, thinking its only her fancies and weird imaginations which led her to believe she was a lesser being. She started on anti-depressants .. her health began to deteriorate.. her parents started wondering what happened to their charming and beautiful daughter all of a sudden!

One day when she was sitting all alone in the office, a good friend of her husband came to meet her...it took her some moments to realise that this Gentleman who had come was trying to get close to her emotionally.. more so because he precisely knew everything.. everything about her husband's affair ... about her weak mental and physical state.. She was stunned! Is this how the world is! This Gentleman who had come to approach her was her husband's childhood friend and a frequent visitor to their home. She made an excuse and left for home. She muttered to herself - "Why didn't he stop his friend from taking the wrong step?" "And even if he didn't, from where did he get the guts to approach me in the same way?"

Thinking this she left the office... reached home, took an early dinner and slept! In the morning when she got up, she was a new person. She realised that no-one is wrong, neither her husband, not the Lady and even not the Gentleman! What was wrong was her expectations from the people to behave the way she thought was right.

She resigned from the office, started taking regular classes for Yoga and Meditation, started reading and joined classical dance classes, in short she started staying happy for herself! She could have taken drastic steps to confront her husband, or the lady or the gentleman ..but she didn't because she knew there was no way out. "Its a bad maze, with no end to it, and I am the most important family unit, without me, the family would break into pieces, the in-laws the beautiful children, I have to stay calm and manage everything" - This was the last thought that came to her mind when she slept that night.

Now its almost 25 years to her marriage. Nothing much has changed, the husband's extra marital affair is still On, children busy in their lives and jobs.. but despite of knowing all the facts as they are, she is still happy for herself.. because she knows - I have to be Happy for ME MYSELF MY OWNSELF 

The extra marital affair - Part 1

12 years in a marriage is a long time..
Blessed with twins - a boy and a girl and a doting husband she couldn't ask for anything more out of her marriage! In-laws which is usually a point of complaint for females, she was lucky in this respect also, as she was blessed with a good, caring and supportive joint family. There were so many people in the house, why would someone need to even move out to chit-chat or spend time.. it all happened conveniently within the family!

Mother in Law, Father in law, Husband's elder brother his wife and his 2 daughters, her small family unit and a sister in law who used to visit every year because she stayed abroad. There was a small servant's quarter just beside their house and the servants were available for all sort of domestic chores.

Business kept her husband very busy apart from the fact that there were so many days every month that he used to travel. Being a Masters in Finance, she knew she could become a useful hand in the business but since one partner should take care of the children, she decided to take the backseat. Dutifully she took care of everyone in the family and unlike normal cases she shared a very good camaraderie with her co-sister in-law too! Their frequent evening trips to the garden or to the market was something which kept both the females happy!

The elder brother got transferred to some other city and after a year his family unit moved on with him. She started feeling very lonely after that, but the children who were in the primary school by now were pretty much engrossed in their school and extra-curricular activities hardly got a time to miss their cousins. 

She had worked for sometime even before marriage but 12 years was a long time. With her husband's frequent travel trips happening, she decided to give work a shot. She joined his office on a part-time basis. This is what normally females do, start working as if they are obliging themselves by doing so, since they cannot reduce their dedicated time slots which have earlier been occupied by their families!

She started to give her husband advises over the phone and also over video-conferencing. She started to get a grip over her subject and she also managed to save some money which otherwise was going in random expenditures of the company. She was sensible enough to sense the good relationship between a female in the the board of Directors and her husband, and she was pretty comfortable with that. Slowly she began to realise that the frequency of trips of her husband and the female were becoming a regular affair.. or maybe it was the same even before she joined.. She thought to her self - "Oh please don't be silly, stop over imagining things"

Click here to read the Part 2 of the story

"New boy in Corporate" by Banjara Panchi

Written by - 'Banjara Panchi'

Introduction - 
Written at the age of 23 years, when Banjara Panchi had just joined the first job in a corporate in a metro city. Its been more than a decade, hence a few people might not be able to relate to it, try reading it from the perspective of someone who worked in a corporate in a metro 10 years back.
My take - I feel this describes the dilemma of a person in their first job. Would be eager to see your comments.

The night is loosing its grip and yet I am in the state of darkness,the darkness that is never ending , awaken like a predator deprived of its prey ,here I am in the midst of several shouting mindsets, roaring to tear apart, every single bit of peace inside me.
And I wonder why? Why is this happening and sometimes How? Tired of setting an “all is well” aura, I m doing my bit to shatter the deafening silence of the unsaid.
Every morning ,they say is a whole new beginning. But in my case its nothing but a series of monotonous gestures of the livings and also trust me..”of the dead”..no don’t be spooked here.

The morning bus takes me to the place where they say careers are carved and built. The career I always aspired for,the mouth watering careers, in lieu of their extravanza, are hiding inside them, the devils that holds the power to manhandle an innocent little soul into the choking grips of the monstrous satin-d replica of extreme disgust.(again don’t be scared)

Why I am saying this is because I am disturbed, I am having an issue, issue that is felt by all of us, issue that is magnanimous but yet is reeling in its microscopic domain, this needs to be addressed, I feel... and so do,I am sure, the millions of us.

Have you ever thought of what is it like to actually wave hands to the million eyes waiting to get a glimpse of you, million hands waiting to be helped by you, million hopes finding their hope in you. It is this  covetousness I am striving for, the sense of euphoria which is missing from the my career shaping place..and I am not complaining, I m expressing..yes I am expressing and not complaining..what else I can do?